Last month, I officiated the wedding of Ben and Jane. Ben is a dashing member of the financial community here in New York. From Britain, Ben reminds me a bit of James Bond (during the Pierce Brosnan years). Jane is a willowy beauty of Chinese ancestry. The two embody understated sophistication. Together we created a ceremony that brought together the best of both worlds, East and West, just like the bride and groom.Their wedding was held in the W Hotel-Union Square in Manhattan. As one would expect in a W Hotel, it was a sleek, modern building with streamlined furnishings and a minimalist design. In speaking with John Benke, he explained that the building was erected in the early 1900s and was previously the Guardian Life Building, a landmark in the Beaux Arts tradition. The area in which the wedding was held, unlike the overall décor of the hotel, was highly ornate with extraordinary marble and stunning ceiling adornments and fixtures--a real hidden gem and a remembrance of the building’s original grandeur. The wedding decorations were relatively simple, letting the spectacular beauty of the room stand out.
Like the location, the wedding was a perfect combination of tradition and modernity. The couple used a classical string trio and a brief conventional ceremony. In honor of her Asian ancestry, Jane used her Chinese name during the exchange of vows. This gesture must have been touching for her family members.
One ceremonial element that the couple included was a signing of a ceremonial wedding document, following the vows and ring exchange. Document signings are a fixture in traditional Jewish weddings. The ketubah, a marital agreement, is signed by the bride and groom before the ceremony and is read out under the chuppah, the wedding canopy. According to my celebrant colleagues, the signing of a ceremonial marriage license during wedding is enjoying renewed popularity. This simple ritual is a striking visual reinforcement of the verbal vows taken moments before.
Perhaps the sweetest bridge to the East in this wedding was the private tea ceremony held by the families of the bride and groom, earlier in the day. In Asian cultures this is a most important feature of the union, where families meet to partake in a highly choreographed ritual embodying honor, dignity and family commitment. (Even Ben was required to speak some Mandarin during the ceremony, which caused him a good bit of anxiety!) In a time when the mantra of New York weddings is often “the bigger, the better,” it is heartwarming to know that for this special couple, it was the private ceremony that anchored the day.
My hat is off to these two promising individuals who superbly designed their wedding to reflect their histories and sensibilities.
Photographs courtesy of David Myles Photography.
