The Blessings of Animals

I am suffering a bit of insomnia this Sunday, as I will be officiating a wedding in Central Park. The weather, with light, but persistent, showers, may have something else in mind for us. The bride and groom, Sarah and Bill, are terrific. Sarah is a dog lover and decided that their beloved pooch Boefje should be the ring bearer. While this may strike some as odd, in the Celebrant community it is not that uncommon, believe it or not. For, a hallmark of the Celebrancy movement worldwide is a deep appreciation for all creatures.

It is a fitting time for Boefje’s wedding debut, as we are approaching the Saint’s Day for Francis of Assisi. Many are familiar with the beautiful St. Francis prayer (Lord make me an instrument of your peace, where there is hatred, let me sow love….), but he is also well known for his love of animals. Indeed, this is the time of year when many churches, Catholic and Protestant open their Sanctuaries for the “Blessing of the Animals.” A Christian church around the corner from my apartment, for instance, proudly displays a banner for today’s “Blessing of the Animals.” As we passed by the church yesterday, walking home from the Metropolitan Museum, my boyfriend noticed the sign and murmured about the silliness of it all. As a good Celebrant, I tried to remind him that in modern America—and particularly in a place like New York— pets have taken on a vital role as family members, for many. With extended families on the decline and vast numbers of people living alone, pets provide companionship and unconditional love for so many. The Celebrancy community acknowledges these connections by routinely leading services related to animals, such as pet memorials. My Celebrant colleague Dorry Bless, for instance, is officiating a ceremony in October at St. Hubert’s Animal Welfare Center (http://www.sthuberts.org/), where she will bless the wonderful dogs being raised to work as guide and service dogs for the blind and disabled.

Recently I came across an article in the Christian magazine Guideposts, most often associated with the great Norman Vincent Peale. The piece described a minister who was struggling with a dwindling congregation in North Weymouth, Massachusetts, outside Boston. “Out of nowhere” the idea came to her—to let congregants bring their animals to worship services. It was a huge success! (http://www.guideposts.com/story/bring-your-dog-church.)

It is refreshing and energizing to see so many spiritually-inclined institutions recognizing the role that animals play in our communities. I’m glad the Celebrancy community is at the forefront. So, as I close, the sun is nearly rising. We are keeping our collective fingers (and paws) crossed that Boefje will have his debut.

p.s. We did end up having the wedding outside. It was cold and wet, but the dog looked mighty cute.

Wedding with a Heart

Charity has always been important to me. For years I have worked in the nonprofit sector and been active in philanthropic causes. That charitable impulse is one of the reasons that Celebrancy was so appealing to me—this is a lovely, creative way to be of service to people during important moments in their lives. So, it was a natural next step when I decided “marry” my Celebrancy practice with charitable giving.

I recently decided to launch “wedding with a heart.” It is a simple idea. For each wedding that I am lucky enough to officiate, I will make a contribution to a charity of the couple’s choice. For me, this is a small way of “giving back.” I am exceedingly grateful to do this kind of work—why not share my good fortune with others? With nonprofits facing financial struggles due to the recession, they can certainly use the assistance. And, there is no better way to recognize the love of the individuals who are marrying, than shining a light on things that they care about. So my couple who will be married in New York City’s Central Park this weekend have asked that a donation be made to the Central Park Conservancy, to maintain their beloved park.

I think it is an emerging trend to link the gift of falling in love and marrying with sharing one’s blessings. For instance, in 2002 the “I Do Foundation” was started in Washington, D.C. The Foundation has developed partnerships with major retailers, so that when couples receive gifts purchased through these stores, a donation will be made to a charity of the Bride and Groom’s choice. Some brides and grooms skip gifts altogether, asking that donations be made directly to charity instead.

So, my little contribution is one little way to keep the virtuous cycle of loving going and giving.

Romance on the Danube

I write to you from beautiful Budapest, Hungary, one of the grand cities of the Austro- Hungarian Empire. I have been fortunate to spend time over here during the last several years, as it is the motherland of my partner Laszlo. Budapest is a beautiful, stately city, hugging the Danube River. Now two decades since the fall of Communism, Budapest is restoring its luster of eras gone by.

My love of weddings well pre-dates my becoming a Celebrant. During much of my 30’s, I travelled a good deal. It was a wonderful time of self-growth and learning, one that I hope positively informs my Celebrancy practice. No matter where I wandered, I was always on the lookout for weddings. From near or far, I truly enjoyed peeking in on these happy days for brides, grooms, and their families. And I prided myself on having a “sixth sense” of knowing when and where I might run into a wedding celebration (think “Wedding Crashers” meets “Roman Holiday”).

As I am now an officiant, I use any travel opportunity to help me become a more creative Celebrant—meeting new colleagues, visiting museums, or learning about local wedding customs. So, of course, coming to Hungary has piqued my curiosity of wedding customs in Central Europe.

Of those Hungarians declaring a religious affiliation, about half are Roman Catholic, about 20 percent are Protestant, with small numbers of Greek Orthodox and Jews. According to a wedding traditions website, all Hungarian marriages must have a civil ceremony. Many couples choose to have a religious ceremony after the civil service. Some, in fact, parade from the civil service immediately to the house of worship.

In the past, Hungarian brides wore colorful dresses, heavily embroidered with flower motifs. In her elaborate dress, with many petticoats and an impressive headpiece, symbols of wheat were sewn in, as a sign of fertility. Today, most brides wear modern “western style” white bridal gowns. During traditional church ceremonies, it is customary for the bride and groom to sit on a platform, outside the house of worship. As guests arrive, they will read poems, sing songs, or share memories or good wishes with the bride and groom. And, today it is still customary for couples to wear wedding rings on their left hands during the engagement period. After the wedding ceremony, the rings are switched to the right hand. After the wedding the bride gives a gift of three or seven handkerchiefs to the groom. Both three and seven are thought to be lucky numbers. The groom usually presents his bride with a small bag of coins—this symbolizes that the husband will give all that he has to his new bride, entrusting her with his worldly fortunes. The wedding reception includes food and drink and things near and dear to the hearts of Hungarians—most notably food heavily seasoned with Paprika, the national treasure to which Hungarians attribute magical properties.

The photo included here is from a Saturday wedding that I ambled into while walking around the Castle in Budapest. Wonderful!

Home is where the Heart Is

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of marrying two lovely young people Gail and Jason. Theirs was a quintessential modern day romance—intercontinental and filled with demanding professional obligations. Jason and Gail met while in graduate school at the University of Edinburgh. Their time together in Scotland, affirmed their love for one another, first as friends, then as flat mates, and finally as a romantic couple. Upon graduation, Jason, a native Texan, returned to the United States to attend law school at Mr. Jefferson’s University, the University of Virginia. A marriage proposal last Thanksgiving led to the inevitable question, “Where should such a globe-trotting couple marry?” With friends and family coming from all points in America, as well as Australia, the U.K. and Continental Europe, New York became the “logical” choice for the wedding. What is better than a late summer wedding in Central Park?

I was so honored to lead the ceremony, in part because of my own Scottish ancestry. (I must admit that I was thrilled to learn that there are relatives in the bride’s family that share my surname “Ritchie.”) Our planning was remote—via email and telephone, but I came to feel kinship with these two. The wedding was held in a sweet Gazebo in the southern part of Central Park, a little nest known as the "Cop Cot Gazebo." Interestingly, this is a Scottish phrase which, translated, means “the little house on the crest of the hill.” Perfect, right?

There were touches of Scotland all around—from the kilts worn by several members of the wedding party to the Scottish flag on which the wedding cake was lovingly placed. However, I am confident that our couple and their friends and family members felt very much at home in the Big Apple.

As my celebrancy practice continues to bloom, I anticipate working with many more couples who make New York their wedding destination. As I did with Jason and Gail, I stand ready to help with all aspects of the wedding preparations including venue selection, assistance with music, flowers and other wedding elements, travel arrangements, and the challenges of negotiating a wedding license at the New York City Clerk’s office. So Congratulations Gail and Jason! You were a complete joy to work with.

Photograph by Jeffrey Mosier Photography