Old-Fashioned Love Meets New-Fangled Technology: Is the Internet Cupid’s Most Potent Arrow?

Advances in technology and the development of the internet have impacted every aspect of life—including how we meet potential romantic partners, the courtship process, and even the exchange of marriage vows. As a celebrant, one of the first questions I pose to couples is the favorite, “So, how did you meet?” For couples of all ages and backgrounds, many report that they met online. This confession is inevitably followed by a nervous giggle and sheepish grin. The fact of the matter is, according to scholars and researchers who study such things—online dating is a very conventional approach in meeting people, these days.

Take my recent couple, Maria and Ulrich. These two lived half a world apart—she is from the American Southwest, while Ulrich lives in Copenhagen, Denmark. Not only did they meet online, but much of their courtship took place via email and Skype. The Groom is so “wedded” to technology that he actually pulled out his BlackBerry during the ceremony, from which he read his personalized wedding vows. (I’ve subsequently learned that YouTube is filled with videos of wedding couples whipping out PDAs to update their Facebook status, once vows were taken and rings were exchanged!)

While I’m not sure how I feel about Facebook postings during a ceremony, I must admit that a recent brush with matrimonial technology warmed my heart. About two weeks ago, I performed a last minute, intimate ceremony for a beautiful young couple in Harlem. The groom’s much beloved mother lives in Nassau, in the Bahamas. With such a last minute affair, she was unable to join us for the ceremony. So the techno-savvy groom fired up the webcam, and Mom was “present” for the entire ceremony.

Some people believe that technology has done much to hamper inter-personal relationships, but these recent examples of Cupid’s acquisition of technology have convinced me otherwise.

What's Special about a Celebrant-Led Wedding?

A wedding ceremony is a special event—in all ways. The process of “getting married” is a legal action, entering into a lifelong contract with another, recognized by societal institutions of all sorts. Yet, the wedding ceremony is also a celebration! For some it is a religious ceremony, for others a spiritual or secular observation, marking one of life’s major milestones and rites of passage. Many couples desire a clergy-led ceremony connected to a church, synagogue or mosque. Other brides and grooms seek a legal union courtesy of a Justice of the Peace, judge or other legal officiant. However, many couples desire another option….a third way. As a celebrant community, we believe that we fill this important gap in wedding options for American couples. We are legally credentialed to marry couples, but we are trained as ceremony professionals who will reflect the philosophies and traditions of brides and grooms.

This time of year finds many couples “interviewing” prospective wedding officiants, I thought it would be a terrific time to remind happy brides and grooms how a celebrant can bring a wonderful perspective to the day’s events. I am pleased to reproduce informative materials produced by the Celebrant Foundation & Institute, the organization that trains and credentials celebrants in the U.S. and abroad:

How is a Celebrant Wedding Unique?

Your wedding ceremony should be personal, reflecting who you are as individuals and as a couple. A wedding celebrant certified by the Celebrant Foundation & Institute will take the time to understand your beliefs, your values, and what makes your bond unique.

In a Celebrant ceremony, you are empowered. Nothing is imposed on you. Instead, in a collaborative process, the Celebrant will guide you in choosing rituals, readings, symbols, and music to fulfill your ideals and vision for your wedding. No two Celebrant ceremonies are the same.

Celebrants are ceremony specialists who have a solid background in the history of ritual, ceremony and the tradition of many cultures, beliefs, and religions. They are experts at managing rehearsals and performing weddings. They are experienced in the art of ceremonial public speaking.

Your Celebrant will:

* Meet with you at a no-obligation interview to discuss your vision of the ceremony
* Listen to you to learn your personal story
* Consult with you until the ceremony is just right
* Rehearse with you at your venue
* Provide you with a beautiful keepsake copy of your ceremony

Who Should Choose a Celebrant?

Anyone and everyone! Whether you are secular, religious, spiritual, nondenominational, part of an interfaith or multicultural couple, or if you simply wish to express yourself in a manner of your own choosing, a Celebrant can help you create a ceremony that respects all that is meaningful to you.

The Celebrant Foundation & Institute is a non-profit educational institution dedicated to helping individuals, couples, families and communities mark life’s milestones through personalized ceremonies. Celebrants have performed over million ceremonies worldwide. Celebrants officiate at virtually every life event, including weddings and commitments, baby namings and adoptions, funerals and memorials. With a focus on personalizing each ceremony related to the needs, beliefs, and values of the couple or family. Celebrants are trained in the art of ceremony.